Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
