Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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