How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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