someone get that fucking seahorse.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
