the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
