wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
