So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.