i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.