he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter