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If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
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