im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
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It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up