if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
