he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
