the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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