Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
