can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
