I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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