member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
