hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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