my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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