TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
