Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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