I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
