it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
