Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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