So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
