We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
