It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize