East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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