I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
