worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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