its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Panties = found
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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