I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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