Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
