i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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