you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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