Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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