So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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