Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
