i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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