Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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