Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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