yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
