So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
