idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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