This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
