I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
