i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
