I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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