It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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