He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
