We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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