he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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