Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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