Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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(909): View more from California

my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

She made me pour olive oil on her.

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