Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just crazy horny about you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.