I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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