how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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