HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
