you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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