So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
