Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Couch. On fire.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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