he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
