The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
