It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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