Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
