So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
