can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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