I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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